


DR3AM 0N

by StarLover123



Series: Dr3am 0n [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: All relationships are platonic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dream Smp, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Dreamon, Exorcisms, Flashback, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Panic Attacks, Platonic Relationships, Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Some characters might be a little OOC, dream smp prison, finished fic, fundy dream are kinda canon ive learned lol, i'm not the best writer, tommys super OOC lol, upate theres gonna be a little dream x fundy but its fine bc they're canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29210466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarLover123/pseuds/StarLover123
Summary: Everything was a blur, really. He could remember it if he really tried. But that made his head hurt, and his body shake. So he preferred not to. He could remember the shapes. And he could remember how he felt. But there really was no context to how he got here.In prison.At least that's what he’d been told it was. He wasn’t even aware that it was built. He’d come to a few hours after he was placed inside and… well he kinda freaked out.Clay was never one to be overly anxious. But coming to in an entirely obsidian room, with lava, no access to the outside world, well. He kinda made a fuss.Though the demon in his head was cruel, it wasn’t that cruel and came in to fill Clay in on the situation. It definitely didn’t tell him everything. But it was at least enough that he knew what the place was, and, some of the event that got him here.______D̴̛̫̦̩̬̍͋͝r̸͇͛̏̚Ę̸̐͊͋̇ǎ̷̙̻̿̾̚M̷̭͕̲̞̈́̿ ̴̩̠͔̼̅0̴̦̭̈͜ͅN̷̠̞͐͛̈́______Clay is put in prison and has no recollection of the event that got him there. And after getting a small explanation from the demon in his head, he ponders on what *really* got him here.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream & Sam | Awesamdude, Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy
Series: Dr3am 0n [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158851
Comments: 12
Kudos: 273





	1. Prison

______

D̴̛̫̦̩̬̍͋͝r̸͇͛̏̚Ę̸̐͊͋̇ǎ̷̙̻̿̾̚M̷̭͕̲̞̈́̿ ̴̩̠͔̼̅0̴̦̭̈͜ͅN̷̠̞͐͛̈́

______ 

Everything was a blur, really. He could remember it if he really tried. But that made his head hurt, and his body shake. So he preferred not to. He could remember the shapes. And he could remember how he felt. But there really was no context to how he got here. 

In prison. 

At least that's what he’d been told it was. He wasn’t even aware that it was built. He’d come to a few hours after he was placed inside and… well he kinda freaked out. 

Clay was never one to be overly anxious. But coming to in an entirely obsidian room, with lava, no access to the outside world, well. He kinda made a fuss. 

He was scared, more than anything. He wanted to scream for help and cry until he was out of tears. He didn’t know where he was or why he was here. 

Though the demon in his head was cruel, it wasn’t that cruel and came in to fill Clay in on the situation. It definitely didn’t tell him everything. _He knew that._ But it was at least enough that he knew what the place was, and, at least the event that got him here. Or what of the event the Demon decided to tell him. Clay could tell it wasn’t everything. And certain things didn't match up with the shapes and colors in his head, nor the emotions. 

So, when he felt the demon's presence fade, he grabbed a book, he wrote down what he knew. Honestly, a lot of the past few years was a blur, the same fuzzy shapes, and emotions, on good days, he was allowed to have his body entirely to himself for a full day, maybe if he was lucky, a full week. Those times were good. When he just got to spend time with his friends, and build things, and joke around and be happy. Instead of in some plot to murder his friends for power. 

The morning came, and Clay almost didn’t notice when Sam came through to give him food. He was quick to get up to go greet the other man as soon as he realized. He was excited to have some human interaction. It seemed like the demon would leave him alone for a while, so he could maybe learn from Sam what really happened. 

“ Good morning, Sam! “ Clay greeted as he walked over to where the netherite blocks had been pushed up, making almost a table for him. Sam didn’t seem to be amused as he placed the food onto the blocks. Potatoes. Good enough for him. 

“ Hello, Dream.” Clay blinked. Oh right. He kinda forgot about that. “ Tommy will be visiting you later today. I trust you won’t be misbehaving. “ Clay didn’t quite know what that meant, but he just smiled and nodded. 

“Of course not, Sam! I wouldn’t _dream_ of it!” Sam gave him a look, Clay couldn’t help but laugh. 

Sam turned to leave, just Clay reached over the netherite blocks to grab his sleeve. “Wait!” Sam was quick to shove him off, turning to face him. His expression was cold and… He must’ve done something really bad. “I- Nevermind I can wait…” Clay decided, looking down. He didn’t want to make Sam mad. 

This apparently had caught Sam off guard, causing him to actually take in the younger boys' features. It wasn’t often he had his mask off, so Sam had never really stopped to notice his facial features. 

Nothing really stood out, but that seemed to be the problem. _Nothing stood out._ Sam hadn’t seen the youngers face very often before this. But he did know one thing about this man's face, that he always noticed. 

“Dream, have your eyes always been _Brown_?” Whenever Sam ever saw Dreams eyes, they were always green. BRIGHT Green. Almost Glowing. But now, they were brown. And Normal. Too Normal. 

Clay looked up, tilting his head slightly. “ Um, Yes? I think so? “ What was that supposed to mean? Had the Demon changed his eye color? 

Sam studied his face for another moment, before giving a sigh. “ Alright. Eat up, and be on your best behavior while you wait for Tommy to show up. “ Clay gave a god, taking the potatoes off the netherite blocks. 

“ You got it! “ Sam stepped back on the platform, being carried over to the other side of the lava, and lowering the lava back down. Then the netherite blocks were released again back into the floor. He’d have to remember not to step on them if that's where his food was going to be placed. 

Clay looked at the potatoes in his hand. Raw, and full. Was he supposed to bite into them like apples? Well, it wouldn’t be the worst thing he's eaten. It kept him fed and that was good enough. 

“ Hey, Dream?” Clay spoke out loud. He’d never really identified with the alias the demon had made them go by and had developed a habit of referring to them with that name, seeing as the demon never really gave them a name to call them. 

The demon... Dream..on? That sounded cool. (somebody else called it that, he wasn’t sure who though…Tubbo? How did that kid know?) 

The Dreamon didn’t respond to Clay's call, but Clay could feel its presence. It was listening. “ What did sam mean? By the eye color thing? Did you do something to my eyes?” The Dreamon didn’t respond immediately. In fact, it took a minute or two, but Clay let it take its time. It was probably still recovering from everything that had happened. 

**_Taking on a host is supposed to hide us, but no demon can hide entirely, always have some quirk that proves we’re not quite human. I got lucky. For me, it was eye color. And I happened to get a color that seemed to blend in relatively well._ **

Clay hummed at the response. He could never be sure if that was correct, seeing as the Dreamon had a history of lying to him, but it usually only lied about things it did in his body. It’d never lied about itself before. So Clay could only assume it was the truth. 

“So, my eyes are a different color when you’re in control?” Clay could almost hear a purr like the Dreamon was trying to hum in response like he did. It was trying to mimic him. He almost found it charming. 

**_Yes. They glow. Lime green, specifically._ **

Clay walked over to his cauldron, looking at his reflection in the water. Lime green eyes, huh? Wouldn’t that be a sight? 

Clay sat down on the floor with his book, eating his potatoes and writing down more memories, and just whatever he knew, including this newfound information.

Though Clay didn’t write down too much this time, Dreamon was still lingering, he could feel it. 

By the time Tommy showed up, he had enough information to prove to him that he was sorry, and could hopefully get some information out of Tommy without Dreamon interfering. 

Dream stood as he watched the netherite blocks rise up again, and the lava begin to clear way. Seeing Tommy on the other side of the lava made his guts twist, he felt so bad, and he wasn't even entirely sure what he did. 

Tommy crossed the lava on the platform, Clay standing at the edge of the netherite blocks, waiting for Tommy to be ready, as soon as the lava was back down, and the netherite blocks dropped, well it took everything in Clay to not tackle Tommy and hug him right then and there. He wanted to keep things cool. So he took a few steps back. 

“Hello, Tommy. “ He greeted. “ Welcome to my cell, I guess. “ 

Tommy laughed. “ Oh my- you must feel so embarrassed! “ Clay laughed along, though it was more of a nervous laugh. 

“A little. But I’ve been going crazy in here! You’re the first person to visit me, I’ve just kinda been alone! “ Clay tried, he was trying to keep things nice, and chill. 

“ Aww, You miss me?” Tommy teased. Clay took a moment to feel for the Dreamon. he didn’t feel it anywhere, so he continued. 

“ Um, a little, actually, Yeah. “ He admitted. This caught Tommy off guard, which was, understandable, but still, he continued. “ Tommy, I’m sorry… I- I don’t know what I did… if I’m bein’ honest. But I’m sorry, about all of it, because either way, it's my fault and- “ 

“ Wait wait wait wait wait, back up, You miss me? You’re sorry? You don’t remember? wheres all of this coming from and where the fuck was it yesterday!?” Tommy almost shouted. Clay flinched slightly. He shouldn’t let himself be affected by that. And yet he was. 

“I- have this thing. A demon. I agreed to work with and- and it basically took over my life and blocked my memories and ruined everything and I’m so sorry! I just wish we could be friends again…” Clay was being as honest as possible. He needed to make it up to him. 

Tommy was quiet for a few moments, in disbelief. He would be too. “ Jesus fuck how did you even get in that situation! Like seriously, Dream. That sounds like some messed up shit. “ 

“ Clay. “ He corrected. “ You can call me Clay. Dream is the nickname the demon made up.” Tommy was once again surprised but nodded. “ And it’s kind of a long story if I can even remember it all. “ 

Tommy looked at the clock on the wall. “ I’ve got time. “ He said, sitting down on the floor. Clay sat down with him. “ If you want to tell me, then maybe i’ll accept your apology. If your story's not full of bullshit, of course. “ 

Clay chuckled, giving a nod. 

“Alright, get comfy. “ 

So how did he get into this situation, exactly? 

______

D̴̛̫̦̩̬̍͋͝r̸͇͛̏̚Ę̸̐͊͋̇ǎ̷̙̻̿̾̚M̷̭͕̲̞̈́̿ ̴̩̠͔̼̅0̴̦̭̈͜ͅN̷̠̞͐͛̈́

______ 


	2. The Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay begins his story with how "Dream" Came to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw if you didn't catch on this is where Clay begins relaying his Tragic Backstory™️ to Tommy
> 
> This Chapter is not as long as the previous chapter, but I wanted to break up the story into sections via the chapters and there just wasn't a lot more I could add.

Clay was a pretty normal kid. He had a few close friends, He liked to challenge himself, and make jokes, and have fun. Life was pretty good. 

But there was always something missing. He’d always known it. Just something missing from his life. He could never pinpoint what it was. 

That is until it came to him in a dream. Literally. 

The voice had never given him a name to call it, or any looks to go off of, it was always just kinda based on how it sounded, and the thing never seemed to care. 

**_Listen, kid, You want something, and I got it. I can give you anything you want, kid. Fame, fortune, love, happiness. Whatever you want._ **

The offer seemed suspicious at first. Yeah, he wanted something. But he was never sure what. Still, it all sounded amazing. 

“And what do you get out of it? “ Clay had decided to ask, thinking about what he really wanted from this. The offer seemed so… nice. Too nice. And he wasn't just some dumb kid. He was 18 by now, and he knew better. 

**_I will get control of your body a portion of the time, do as I please during that time. I do not have a body and therefore need a host._ **

That was it? It was compelling. Anything he ever wanted, just for a temporary loss of freedom? It sounded like heaven. Because this thing could deal with the hard stuff, in a way he couldn’t. could help him in ways he couldn’t help himself. It sounded great.    
  
So he foolishly agreed.    
  
The first few days with this thing were nice.    
  
It was the beginning of a process. 

First, they had to figure out how the switching between the two would work, as well as the communication.    
  
The first time the demon took control, Clay found that it was relatively easy, and while it happened, he could watch and react to everything that happened, but later found that he would forget most of what happened, only remembering it in colors, shapes, and feelings. But it wasn’t bad. In fact, it almost worked out better in his favor. Because sometimes he didn’t want to remember. 

“ So, how will we communicate?” 

**_Simple. I will talk to you as I normally would. And you would talk to me in your head. Like, Telepathically._ **

Clay hummed. “ So like a superhero?” if the voice could have laughed, it probably would have. 

**_If that's what helps you to remember to not speak out loud and look crazy, then of course._ **

It was a good enough answer for Clay. 

The next step was to change their appearance. 

**_We need to both be comfortable in the body, if it makes you comfortable, I would like to hide our face._ **

‘Why, if I may ask?’ 

**_Demons like myself do not have faces._ **

That was all the Demon said. It was kind of weird to think about, but he just shrugged it off. Who was he to judge a faceless being? ‘Okay, We’ll make a mask then. But can we at least draw a smiley face on it? I think that’ll make it easier for people to talk to us. ‘ The demon seemed to think about it for a few moments. 

**_Okay._ **

The two had also agreed on going by another name. The Demon had said that a new identity would help them accomplish new goals. Clay didn't quite get what that meant, but he agreed. Clay was never fond of going by another name, _He liked his name_. But he didn’t hate the idea either. He’d even suggested the name. 

‘You came to me in a dream, so, what about that? Dream?’ 

**_It’s Suitable._ **

And that’s how  _ Dream _ was born. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 625 (See, I told you a lot shorter. )


	3. Pros and Cons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay ponders on the Pros and Cons of having a demon by his side at all times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still a bit of a short chapter, but promise you that the next chapter is much longer. its 3 pages 
> 
> also, I meant to post this earlier but I wouldn't let myself do so until I had written the next chapter because I apparently want to be ahead. 
> 
> so enjoy!

For the next year or so, they took things slow, making new friends, and building their new life, getting used to each other and how they worked. It was obvious they had different goals in mind and different ways of completing such goals, but they eventually found a rhythm that worked. 

During this time, Clay found a few Pros and Cons to living with this thing. 

Pros: 

  * If he didn’t want to remember something, the thing could just block it out. He would just forget. Which was really helpful in certain situations. 
  * It would take on some of the more unpleasant experiences, that Clay could just shut out so he didn’t have to go through it. It was really helpful 
  * The demon could heal any injuries he had at a pretty fast rate (It wasn’t immediate, but it didn’t take days or weeks. ) 



Cons: 

  * A lot of memories were blurry or erased, He could never quite remember anything correctly. Sure, he could get it mostly right, but, a lot of memories were blurry. 
  * Coming back into the body was... Nauseating, to say the least. 
  * It was lying to him. It was doing bad things without his knowledge. He could feel it. But he never quite knew how to bring it up or how to stop it. 



There was more. But he also never could quite think of what they all were. So he tried not to ponder on all of it too much. He’d already made his decision about this a long time ago. 

Clay and the Dreamon decided then one day to gather some of their friends and make a home, take some land, and just spend time together. 

And for a while, it worked. It was nice. Clay got to have fun and spend time with friends, And the Dreamon got to have a life of its own as well. Everything was good. 

That is, until Tommy. 

Clay had never thought of himself as very authoritative. But Tommy was reckless and chaotic. To be honest, it was kinda fun having to deal with him. It gave him something to do, and it gave him this sense of power. He’d never felt  _ Powerful _ before. He could do all the research and work he wanted to get to the top, but _power?_ that was something you had to earn, or that you had to take. And either way, it felt good. 

Clay could only assume what this feeling had on the dreamon, seeing as whenever they had to deal with Tommy, The dreamon would start to take over more and more, But Clay didn’t mind too much, The Dreamon must have liked the feeling too. 

Following the disc war, Clay always saw those damn discs in his chest. He never really understood why the dreamon wanted them. Nor why they were so important to Tommy. But as long as no one was really being hurt, it didn’t really matter to him. 

Clay hadn’t realized how much it had actually hurt people. (He'd really been ignorant, huh?) 

Through the L’manburg Revolution and the Pogtopia-Manburg war, Clay didn’t remember a lot. He remembered building some things, and he remembered building church prime! He remembered spending time with his friends, but all the conflict (He knew he was involved in something. He’d heard others talk about it) was blurry and felt more distant than most memories. And it kinda bothered him thinking about it. 

But it wasn’t terrible. He could deal with it. He could keep up the facade. That was the easy part. 

The hard part came sometime before the Manburg festival. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 600 ( I told you, short)


	4. Exorcism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dreamon was exorcised... or was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> longer!   
> Also if you're wondering why my writing style is all spaced out like this   
> idfk either bro   
> though I do know that it makes it easier for my ADHD self to read. bc big paragraph I just tend to skip, or sometimes I'll just focus on dialogue. so typing it like this seems to make it easier to read, at least for me. tell me if it's like that for you!

Clay didn’t remember most of the situation. 

  
  
He remembered walking along the prime path (For What? He didn’t know) And then Tubbo and Fundy came up to him, shouting ( What were they shouting about) 

He remembered feeling scared. 

  
  
As he followed the two boys, and as he talked with them, he hoped maybe they would back down. From whatever they were doing. 

**_Do not fear, Clay. They can’t get rid of me unless you’re on board with it._ **

Get rid of it? That's what they were trying to do? How did they know? How could they tell? Still, Clay wasn’t in on it. At this point, he’d come to rely on the Dreamon. He needed it. He didn’t know what he’d do without it. 

Clay kept his cool to the best of his abilities. He went along with Tubbo and Fundy, he did the ritual. And the Dreamon did everything in its power to stay, and Clay did his own to keep it near. 

Clay didn’t actually remember a lot of the ritual, but he did remember one line in particular.    
  


_ I will be fixed.  _

Clay didn’t need to be fixed. Right? The Dreamon had provided him a life, success, friends, fun, and took away the bad things. He was fine. He didn’t need to be fixed.

...

“Or so you fuckin’ thought. “ Tommy perked up from Clay telling his story, Clay gave him a look. 

“Don’t interrupt me. “ Clay deadpanned. Tommy laughed, flapping his hands as he did so. He was always expressive that way. 

“ Sorry sorry sorry, But you know I’m goddamn right!” Clay huffed, Yeah. He was right. He couldn’t live with this Demon anymore. He needed to be fixed.

…

Then Dream remembered an explosion. Or at least the sound of one. 

**_Clay, we need to pretend I’m gone._ **

‘Why can’t you just take over the body and do it?’ 

**_They’ll know. Plus besides, you’ll be much more convincing._ **

Clay didn’t know how HE would be more convincing, but he went along with it. This part was clear to him. 

“ I feel different. I feel new. “ Clay said when he met up with the two boys again after the ritual. He did. A little bit. A little different. But he knew it wasn’t what the boys were looking for. So he still lied. 

“ Do you hear voices?” Tubbo asked him. And of course, he had to lie, but even then the dreamon dared not to speak or instruct him during that moment. 

“ How long is your right arm?” Clay seemed confused. The demon spoke up to explain. 

**_It’s said demons' right arms are longer than our left. That however is just a myth._ **

Clay hummed. “ Same as my left. I’d measure but- I don’t have a ruler. “ Cay tried, the boys happily accepted that answer, and continued. 

“ What’s your IQ? “ Clay didn’t get a chance to answer on his own. 

  
  
“ **_75._ ** ” The Demon forced him to answer. That was never something Clay got used to. Clay could let the demon take over his body all day any day, but it controlling just one part of him always felt weird. He didn’t like it. 

  
  
He was asked a few more Questions by the boys and put to some testing. The Dreamon instructed him through it. And it was right, it did sound more convincing when he himself said it. He wasn’t sure what about it did, but he could tell the difference. 

…

“Maybe cause you sound like a bitch. “ Tommy once again interrupted. Clay couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.

“Maybe it’s because I’m a human. Demons have a very… sophisticated way of communicating. I just talk, like myself. “ 

Tommy rolled his eyes. “ Don’t put sense into my fucking joke, you bitch! “ Clay laughed. 

“ Sorry! Sorry! Let me continue!” 

…

Clay didn’t remember a lot after that. He remembered a lot of running. Of feeling tired but still going.

He remembered his date with Fundy… it was warm, though he wasn’t quite sure how it correlated to this memory, but it was locked in with it. And he didn’t entirely mind it. 

He then also remembered flying. He couldn’t fly. (at least as far as he knew) And neither could the dreamon (At least not while it was part of him, especially not while it was in his body) So he wasn’t sure how it happened. 

Then it was just him. 

He didn’t hear the demon's voice in the back of his head. At least for a while, he didn’t. So he was quick to dismiss himself from the other two boys as he collected his things (How did he lose his things?) He was a bit panicked. But the Demon came back after only a few hours. 

**_I apologize for my disappearance._ **

The demon perked up suddenly as Clay was sitting alone at his desk, causing the tall male to jump. 

“ Jesus! Don’t scare me like that! It’s okay, are you okay?” Clay didn’t bother to think it. They were alone 

**_Apologies. I’m mostly alright now. My absence was inconvenient but necessary. Are you alright?_ **

Clay hummed. “ A little freaked. If I’m being honest. I’d thought I lost you. But as long as you’re okay, and still here to guide me, I think I’ll be okay too. “ The demon gave its weird hum-purr thing in response. 

**_Well, then I’m proud of you. Now I see you worrying, stop writing, and get some sleep._ **

Clay looked down at what he was writing. It could wait. It was pretty late. He could use the sleep. 

So Clay got up, heading over to the bed. He didn’t need to sleep. The dreamon could keep him awake and full of energy as long as he wanted, and coming all the way back to the secret base to sleep was a hassle (though Clay wasn’t quite sure why it had to be so secret) But genuine sleep was much better and more fulfilling than fake demon energy. So he was pretty glad to lay down in that bed, pull the covers over his shoulders, and close his eyes. 

So he’d almost lost his demon that day. The thing that had kept him going. The thing that guided him through everyday life. It was scary but it was also far from the end of the story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1055 (Woo! longer!!! )


	5. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this manzzzz 
> 
> ( also: *cough cough* comment it makes me happy) 
> 
> Also, with anything like this, it can seem like I'm portraying DID. I'm not trying to. but I've done a LOT of research on the subject so if I was, i would take this opportunity to learn more, and a few friends who have DID have said I do a pretty good job at portraying it ( or at the very least, I know a lot more than most people do and am a pretty good help ) I'm no expert, and in this fic, I'm not trying to portray it in this fic, but if you see it that way I hope you can say that I sorta know what I'm doing. 
> 
> ALSO, THAT COULD JUST BE A RAMBLE FOR NO REASON IDK I TALK OUT OF MY ASS A LOT

“ After that… After that, I don’t remember a lot. It’s pretty much blank from then on. Small moments here and there but… nothing, really. “ Clay finished up his story. “ I mean, I remember good things… Like me and Fundys wedding, but, I think the demon started blocking out more and more things. “ 

Tommy tilted his head. “ You really don’t remember anything after that?” Clay shook his head. “ The Manburg-Pogtopia war?” Clay shook his head again 

“ I remember it happening when it was. But I couldn’t tell you what happened, or what side I was on. “ Tommy huffed. 

“ So you don’t remember Wilbur blowing the place up?” Clay thought on it for a moment.” Kinda. I remember the sound of the explosion. I remember the creator… and I remember it being rebuilt…” 

Tommy was quiet for a few moments before he spoke up again. “ Do you remember my Exile?” Clay shook his head. “ Or Fucking BLOWING L’MANBURG UP A THIRD TIME!?” Clay didn’t respond this time. He did that? L’manburg was gone? “ Or Threatening to KILL TUBBO! “ What? Clay would never do that! Tubbo was just a kid, he didn’t deserve to die!    
  
But I guess a demon didn’t care about that, did it? 

Clay felt tears beginning to fall down his cheeks, a few memories beginning to pop into his head. He did that. He really did that. “ I did that? Oh my god, I did that.. “ Clay kept his head down, not daring to see Tommy's reaction to him crying. He felt so vulnerable. He should. He deserved it.

It wasn’t Clay that did all of those horrible things. He knew that. It was the Demon. But he was the one who foolishly let the demon into his body, and let the demon share with him. Who never questioned the demon and its moral choices. 

It was his fault. 

“Tommy, I’m so sorry. I wish I could make it up to you… I really fucked up your life. “ Clay finally looked up at Tommy, who held an upset, yet surprised expression. Clay understood why. 

“ Yeah… Yeah, you fuckin’ did. “ Was all Tommy said. Clay got up, moving to his chest and pulling out a book. He went back to Tommy, opening it and beginning to write. 

“ I can’t live like this, I can’t keep hurt you guys. I can’t let IT keep hurting you guys. “ Clay knew the demon was listening now, he could feel it. But he also didn’t care. “ So, I want you to take this to tubbo. He and fundy…a-and sapnap! they can help me… they can get rid of it for good this time. I- I know they can. “ Clay finished up writing as he spoke ( A very good skill he picked up. Writing and speaking) and closed the book, handing it to Tommy. Tommy gave a nod. 

“ I know you can’t forgive me. But Tommy I want to work to a point to where you can. I let the demon in. so it’s my fault. But if I put in the initiative to get rid of it… hopefully you can forgive me. “ Clay decided, wiping his face of tears that still lingered. He felt so bad. 

“Alright. I can’t forgive you yet Dre- Clay. but thank you for trying. “ Tommy said as he stood up. “ Though I’m not sure I’ll be able to take this with me, Sam seems to have this whole fuckin’ thing that's way over the fuckin’ top. “ Clay sighed. 

“ Maybe ask sam to take you back the other way?” Tommy looked at the communicator sam had given him, typing out on it with a hum. Clay hoped it worked. He wanted Tubbo to know he was sorry, and he really wanted to apologize to Fundy in person. And he wanted them to fix him. 

It was hard to deal with. The demon was his guide. He wasn’t exactly sure how to function without it at this point. But he knew that he had a lot of people who would be willing to help him once he made up for his crimes.   
  
“ Alright. He’s gonna bring me back the way I came in. “ Tommy spoke up, standing on the other side of the netherite blocks. “ Have a good day, Clay. “ Clay walked to the back wall so that the blocks would push up. 

“Have a good day, Tommy. “ 

The blocks came up, and the lava fell, and Tommy was quickly taken over to the other side of the lava. Once the lava came back down, and the netherite blocks released, he was all alone again. 

**_So you really plan on getting rid of me?_ **

Clay tensed up, letting out a shaky breath. “ Yeah. I do. I’m sorry. But I can’t let you do this anymore. “ The demon was quiet for a while. 

**_I can’t believe you’re apologizing. I hurt all of your friends. And you’re apologizing to me._ **

Yeah. that sounded really weak of him… “ Yet despite that, you did a lot for me. You brought me to the top. I should be thanking you for that and instead, I’m getting rid of you. “ 

Neither one spoke for about a minute, the Silence was getting to Clay. 

“ You can take over the body until its time. Until next time I have to talk to Tommy, Tubbo, or Fundy… okay? It’s the least I can do, for letting you take me to the top. “ 

**_Are you sure?_ **

Clay took a deep breath 

“Positive” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 911 (oh no uh goduh Chris is that a weed no it's a crayon I'm calling the police 911 whats ur emergency ????? : ))


	6. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A special visitor comes to the prison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly theres so many ways i could address everything that happens in this chapter but i'll just kinda let ya'll read it. have fun. 
> 
> TW: PANIC ATTACK 
> 
> Heres some pain but also some fluff from the one and only ship in this fic :)

Clay didn’t know how long it’d been since the last time he came to. 

The demon had taken up his offer, but he wasn’t sure why now he came to. At least he didn’t until he looked at the lava. 

The lava wasn’t there, and coming across the platform, was Fundy. 

Clay felt his gut twist and tie and he felt so bad. He already wanted to cry just looking at him. 

Clay stood up, walking over to the netherite blocks to meet the other man. Watching as he landed in his cell. Watching the platform move back. And watching the lava fall back down to cover the cell. 

The Netherite blocks fell, and Fundy turned to look at him. He had a cold stare that made Clay want to cry and tackle fundy in a hug. But he didn’t dare to. 

“ Dream. “ Fundy spoke up. Making the other's heart hurt. “ We got your letter. “ Clay let out a shaky breath, clenching his fists to keep himself from crying. He felt like such a baby. But it was so overwhelming. 

“ Clay. “ He spoke up. “ You can call me Clay. Dream is… Dream is the demon. The- Dreamon. “ Clay spoke softly, keeping his gaze just low enough to not see his husband's eyes. He didn’t want to see how much he was hurting. Nor did he want the other to see the same for him 

Fundy was silent for a few moments, before speaking up quietly. “ Clay. Is what you said true? You really don’t remember any of it?” Clay looked up to meet his eyes. That was a mistake. He looked so… hurt, yet disgusted and… most of all betrayed. He felt so terrible. 

Clay shook his head. “ I remember nothing. “ He said. “ I mean, I remember small things. But… that's just how it works when you’re contracted with a demon, I guess.” He ended up saying. “ Thank you for coming, I planned on apologizing when I was able to get out… after the damn thing was gone but, if you’re here now, I might as well. “ 

Fundy was quiet as Clay stepped forward and took his hands. His hands were so warm. Clay liked being warm.

“ I’m sorry. I can’t tell you everything I did, cause I don’t remember, so I can’t expect you to forgive me. Especially not immediately. I know I did awful things though. I can’t make up for every single one. But I do trust you to tell me the things I did wrong so I can at least try. And I’m so so sorry for any and all pain I’ve caused you. “

Fundy stared at Clay for a few moments, before pushing his hands away. “ And… And what about George? “ Clay blinked, tilting his head. He wasn’t sure what he meant. 

“ What about George? “ He asked. Had he done something to George? God, George must think he was really shitty. He had a lot of people to apologize to. Fundy sighed. 

“ How you cheated on me with him? How he kissed you on our wedding day, and you didn’t pull away and then when confronted you just- just ran away! You said that that day was one of the only times you remember, so How do you explain that!? “ It was obvious that Fundy was trying not to yell at Clay, backing away from the other male. It wasn’t working. He was raising his voice. 

Clay’s breath hitched, thinking back to the wedding. No. that’s not how he remembered it at all. He remembered being married, kissing his husband, having a party with his friends, and going home with him. He didn’t remember… that’s not how it went. 

“ That- Please tell me you’re joking… I don’t… that’s not how I remember it at all. It's not- “ Clay looked down, tears pricking at his eyes. He didn’t understand. 

“ Everyone was there, Clay. They all saw it. You said that- that you remembered that day, you can’t just throw the bad bits out like Ghostbur!” Clay's head was pounding, his heart was racing, what was happening to him? His hands were shaking. Fundy had yelled. Fundy never yelled. He wished he could just run away. But wasn’t that just what Fundy was yelling at him for? For running away? It’s all his fault. He was in the body. He made that choice. And the Dreamon- it- 

“ Count backwards from 10. “ What? Where was he? Was he on the floor now. He felt cold, and his heart hurt. Was he having a heart attack? Oh my god, he was gonna die. Just like Schlatt. Like Schlatt? How did he know that? He didn’t remember that before, did he? 

He couldn’t breathe. He felt Dizzy. He felt a heavyweight on his chest and everything hurt. He couldn’t see. There were too many tears in the way. 

“ Clay. Clay hun, Look at me, deep breaths. “ Deep breaths? He didn’t feel like he could even take a small breath. Still he tried. In… Out… 

“ Good. 5. “ In… Out. “ 4.” In... Out… “3,” In... Out… “ 2, “ In... Out… “1,” In... Out…

“ Tell me 5 things you can see “ Clay opened his eyes. (When had he closed them?) Looking up at Fundy, he was on the ground now, up against the wall, Fundy kneeling next to him. 

“ You… The Obsidian… The Lava… Where the Clock is supposed to be… My Books…” Clay mumbled out, softly. Fundy gave a smile. 

“ Good job. 4 things you can feel?” Fundy continued, his voice had moved to a soft, soothing tone. A warm tone. It was nice. 

  
“ The cold wall… Your hands...My clothes? My... My… “ Clay couldn’t think of a fourth. Fundy held his hand, rubbing circles into the skin gently. 

“ It’s okay. Don’t think about it too hard. Three things you can hear?” 

“ The Lava… Your voice, My heart…” Fundy frowned, moving a hand to his Husbands back, to rub circles. 

“ Two things you can smell. “ 

“ Potions… and Something burning… I guess the lava… “ Fundy gave a nod. 

“ Good, Good. One thing you can taste. “ 

Clay gave a disappointed grunt. “ Potatoes. “ It was all he was fed. He wished he could get something else. 

“Good. I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry, Clay. I shouldn’t have yelled. This must be so overwhelming for you. “ Fundy apologized, pulling Clay into a tight Hug. Clay hugged back, feeling the warmth of his husband engulf him. It wasn’t the warmth of the lava… it was a good warm. 

“ You shouldn’t be apologizing Fundy… I did bad things…You had every right to yell, and be angry at me. “ Clay said quietly, burying his face into Fundy’s shoulder, secretly hoping he wouldn’t let go and be mad again. 

“ No, I didn’t. You’re vulnerable… and Dreamons… can make you forget things. I know this, I was just being irrational.” Fundy said softly, adjusting himself to properly sit with Clay, making it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere. Clay was glad. 

“ Is it… is it possible they can replace your memories? “ Clay asked quietly, pulling away from fundy just enough to look at him. Fundy tilted his head.

” Cause… what you told me, that’s not how I remember it at all. I remember you bringing me in, and giving me that dumb dress, and taking me through all those surprises, everything treasure planet themed… and then we got married, and walked away happily, going home and just… spending time with each other…” Clay explained softly, looking at Fundy for any signs of anger, he only looked confused. 

“ Really? I mean, maybe it’s possible… I wouldn’t doubt it. Dreamons are very powerful creatures. “ Fundy paused. “ But that just makes me feel worse for yelling at you. You don’t even remember it.” Fundy frowned. Which just caused Clay to frown.   
  
“But I was in the body. Even if I don’t remember it, it was still my choice… I don't know why I would do that. I wish I knew… but I know I wouldn’t have wanted that… what he did. Cause I love you.” Clay kept his voice soft, not daring to meet his husband's eyes as he spoke. He just wished he could make up for everything.   
  
“ Oh, Darling, I understand. I love you too…” He pulled lay back in for a hug, and the two sat there for a good minute or two, just focusing on each other. It was nice.

“ Hey, fun? “ Fundy hummed in response. “When did you get the letter?… its uh, kinda hard to keep track of time in here.” Clay decided to say, not deciding to tell Fundy the compromise he’d made with the demon. 

Fundy pulled away, sitting calmly next to his husband, keeping a hand on Clay’s arm so he knew he wasn’t going anywhere. “Um...I put off coming for quite a bit… maybe 3 weeks? I was gonna put it off longer, but tubbo wanted me to come here and confirm things.” 

Clay gave a nod, looking ver to the clock, or at least where it was supposed to be. Having a clock would probably help. “ Oh, yeah.” Fundy spoke up, pulling a clock out of his pockets.”Sam sent me in with this. He says you should stop destroying them… though I guess that's not you, is it?” Clay shook his head.” I thought so. “ Fundy stood, walking over to the wall and putting the clock up. He then walked back over, helping Clay to his feet.

“ Y’know, I’m really happy to see you like this, your face, I mean. I’m happy to see your face.“ Clay smiled softly.” I like your face. “ Clay rolled his eyes.   
  
“ I like your face too.” Fundy placed a hand on Clay's cheek, Clay moved into the hand, smiling all the while.” I missed you. Like a lot. “    
  
Fundy gave a chuckle and a nod.” I missed you too. Like a lot. And… And I forgive you. Maybe I shouldn’t… but I do. “ Fundy reluctantly pulled his hand away. “I’ll talk to Sam about when we can get you out of here to do a ritual. And hopefully, we can get that thing out of you.” 

Clay gave a nod. “ I’m kinda nervous about it… I’ve been living so long with this thing… I don’t think I know how to function without it… and it’s not even that bad… I mean, in the sense that it was deemed good enough to come up and take on a host. It just made bad choices. Really bad choices…. But for them...being Kicked from your host is almost seen as an honor… it's showing that you’ve done all you can for them… “ Fundy listened intently, giving a nod.

“ Hey, We’ll all be here for you when it happens, okay, hun?” Clay gave another nod.”Good.” Fundy looked at his communicator, giving a sigh. “ Looks like my time’s up, hun. I’ll do as much as I can. I love you. “    
  
“ I love you too.”   
  
Fundy pulled away from Clay, heading over to the little water hole in the corner.   
  
Clay didn’t dare to look as Fundy was taken out of his cell that way. He didn’t want to see it. 

At least now he had something to look forward to. At least everything wasn’t hopeless. 

  
  


At least one person forgave him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1884 (LONGBOIIII)


	7. Let's Try This Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exorcism 2 Electric Boogaloo

Clay came too again a week later, Sam w aking him up, and helping him off the ground. 

“ Rise and Shine, Sleeping beauty, it’s time to go do that thing for Tubbo and Fundy. “ At first, Clay was confused. What did they want him to do? But then- It clicked. He was gonna get exorcised, again. Clay immediately jumped to his feet.

“ Oh! Yes! It’s time! Let’s go! “ Clay smiled. He was weirdly excited. Sure, the idea of getting the damn demon out of him was scary, having worked with it for so long, but at the same time, He was excited to see the sun, to see his friends, to see… everything. He was excited to be in nature, and have some quiet time to himself, instead of his thoughts constantly being interrupted by that damn voice. 

Sam locked Clay into handcuffs (Which, weren’t the most comfortable thing, but that didn’t matter) and began leading him out of the prison, keeping a serious tone as he did so. It’d been a month since they’d put him in prison, and now he’d finally see sunlight. He’d finally be fixed. 

He definitely wouldn’t be pardoned for his crimes though. At least he hoped not. He was the reason they’d happened, if he hadn’t taken the demon in, it wouldn’t have happened. 

But neither would this server. 

So maybe he would. But he certainly hoped there was a way he could make up for it all. 

Going through a nether portal for the first time in a month felt weird, especially without armor, but it was a feeling that gave him back his humanity, in a way. The humanity he hadn’t even realized he felt like he lost until now. 

Emerging at the exit was weird. The sun was bright. Like REALLY bright. Brighter than he remembered. But that was probably just from being in the dark for so long. Sure his cell wasn’t  _ Dark. _ But sunlight… well it was much different than glowstone and lava. 

Sam led him through the town, the territories, and Clay took his time taking everything in. If he was being honest,  _ The place looked Horrible.  _ The Blood Vines, the buildings, the destruction. It all looked really messy. Clay wondered how much of this he caused. 

Upon coming across the old Quartz mansion, Clay took a deep breath. It was time. 

Tubbo, Fundy, and Sapnap were waiting at the entrance, Fundy being the first to notice and giving a wave. The whole ritual was already set up. He was so scared. But So so excited. 

“ Hey! You ready?” Funday asked as Clay was walked down to the younger boys. 

“ I think I am. This is really scary…” Clay responded softly. Fundy gave a nod, placing a hand on Clay’s shoulder to comfort him. 

“ I understand. It’ll be okay… hopefully. “ Clay gave a nervous chuckle, looking at the other two boys. He met Tubbo’s eyes first. 

“ Hey, uh, Tubbo?” Tubbo tilted his head. “ I know I said it in my letter, but before we get started, I wanted to say it in person. “ Clay pulled away from Fundy, walking over to the teenager. He felt so bad. “ I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry for… everything. “ 

Tubbo gave a soft smile. “ I know. It’s okay. I mean, it’s not… it was all really scary… but I also know that you… wouldn’t have done that if it was actually you. So… I can forgive you. “ Clay gave a nod. 

“ Well after this thing is gone, whatever you want me to do, to make up for it all, I’ll do it. I promise. “ 

Tubbo nodded. “ Right. Well let's get started, shall we?” Clay nodded. 

Clay was pulled over to a Fence, this situation feeling very familiar. He got on top of it, balancing himself out was kind of hard, but being up there really made him understand why he had to be up here. 

“ I’ve done some more research since our last attempt, seeing as you’ve said you have an emotional attachment to your Dreamon, and considering your coming to be. “ Tommy must have relayed the story to Tubbo. It’s not like he minded though. “ Repeat after me.” 

Clay took a deep breath, looking up at the structure around him. 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

_ I am one.  _

_ A human soul.  _

_ I wish for a higher power.  _

_ Take this nightmare away.  _

Pain struck Clay in the chest, he was struggling to stay on the fence. He was shaking. His head hurt so bad. But he pushed through. 

_ I Will be Fixed!  _

This time, Clay truly wanted it. He wanted Dream gone. So they could peacefully part their separate ways, so no one else would be hurt. As weirdly enough, he knew the dreamon wanted it too. 

As Clay spoke, the pain in his body got more and more intense, he wanted to scream. Was this how it went last time? Where was Tubbo, Fundy, Sapnap, Sam? Where did they go? 

He felt like his head was going to explode. 

Clay tried to keep himself balanced on the fence, but had no luck, slipping and falling onto the ground. FUCK! That hurt. So now of course his entire side hurt, not even just where he landed. This couldn’t be right. Could it? He shouldn’t be in this much pain. Maybe he was just dying. Maybe they’d just decided to kill him. He wouldn’t blame them. 

Clay pulled himself to sit on his knees. His head taking on most of the pain in his body. 

Bits of forgotten memories flashed in his head. The disc war. The L’manburg revolution. Manburg-Pogtopia, Tommy’s Exile, Blowing up L’manburg, And so so much more. 

“ Oh my god…” He was such a bad person. He did all of that. to kids! To innocent kids... he couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to! But he had to. He had to make up for it all. 

Tears were streaming down his face as he gripped his head, trying to ease the pain. Was he screaming? How long had he been screaming? All he felt was pain. He didn’t even know. He just wanted the pain to stop. 

And he was so so tired. 

  
  


**_Clay._ **

Clay tensed up, expecting more pain, but instead, it just faded away. He looked up. Where was he? This wasn’t the quartz mansion. In fact, it wasn’t anything. It was just… a white void. And in front of him stood a black shadowy figure. 

“ Dream? “ The figure let out a noise in response. The familiar purr-hum Clay had gotten so familiar with. 

**_You’ll be alright. Calm yourself. I did some last-minute things to ensure the ritual was a success. I’m sorry you have to be in so much pain._ **

He was still in pain, but now it had faded to a mild headache and a slight pain on his side where he’d fallen. Which he was grateful for. 

“ Why are you so okay with this? “ Clay asked, taking in a few deep breaths in hopes to ease his pain. It didn’t work. 

**_I don’t even know why I did the things I did. Instinct? Maybe? I know some things I did to protect you… like, replace your memories at the wedding. But most things… I don’t know. I just know I don’t want to cause you or your friends pain anymore._ **

Clay gave a nod, looking down at his hands. He was shaking. “ Wh-Where are we?” He ended up asking, looking back up at the figure and tilting his head. 

**_Your mind. You’re passed out right now, and you will be for a while. What I did is supposed to restore the memories I took from you, and give you my experiences. And one more thing._ **

Well, all that was obvious. Not everything was in perfect detail, and he could tell the memories apart, but it wasn’t perfect. Still, it was a step. It would help him make up everything to everyone. “ What?” The demon seemed to look around as if looking for an explanation. 

**_Remember… why did Tommy, Tubbo, and the others keep you alive in the vault?_ **

Clay looked back at his memories. It still hurt to think about those memories, though less. Of course, that meant that right now, it hurt a lot more than it should. But he still tried to retrieve the memory.

“I- I have Jschlatt’s book that… that allowed me to resurrect people.” The demon seemed to give a firm nod. Clay couldn’t help but smile. He remembered, it was a small accomplishment, but an accomplishment that meant a lot to him. 

**_Exactly. That was a lie though, because I can do that on my own as a demon._ **

Oh. So he couldn’t bring ghostbur back after Dream was gone… Tommy was going to be so upset. 

**_Not Exactly, I left a book of such for you in your cell. A way a human could pull it off successfully._ **

Oh. Right. It can read his thoughts. And more importantly, it thought ahead like that. It really cared about him, didn’t it? 

**_I do. Which is why I used my power to restore your lives. Tommy took both of them in the vault, but I found it unfair, seeing that it wasn’t you in the body. So I restored them at the cost of my own._ **

Clay had no words. He was shocked. Dream didn’t have to do that. And yet they did it anyway. It was just too good to him. 

**_Because of this though, your left eye will always, be lime green. Though it won't glow like it did when I was in the body._ **

Clay processed the information with a few blinks, taking a hand and placing it over his left eye. The demon seemed to nod. 

**_I hope this can make up to you, for what I did._ **

Clay smiled, giving a nod. “ I was never really mad, Dream. Thank you.” The demon gave another nod. 

**_Well, this is it. Goodbye, Clay._ **

Clay took a deep breath, watching as the demon turned around, he decided to close his eyes. Not wanting to watch it leave. 

“Goodbye, Dream.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1687 
> 
> We almost done boys!


	8. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay begins his new life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE DONE BOYS!  
> thank you, for sticking around until the end! 
> 
> I hope you're satisfied with the ending!

Clay stirred in his bed. Bed? Since when was he in a bed? Well, it’s not like it mattered to him. It was comfortable. He hadn’t been this comfortable in awhile. 

Unfortunately, whoever had been sitting in the room with him noticed his stirr, and came over to the bed, lightly shaking him. “ Clay? “ was that...Fundy? 

Clay slowly opened one of his eyes, the right one, the one that wasn’t being covered by his arm as he tried to block out any sunlight leaking its way through the curtains. Fundy’s face came into view as he adjusted to the room. He looked really tired. 

“ You’re awake. Oh finally!” Fundy hugged Clay tightly, Clay groaned, but moved his arm to hug Fundy back, and then of course pulling his husband into bed with him. Fundy laughed. 

“ How long was I out?” Clay asked tiredly, his throat feeling dry, seeing as he hadn’t talked in… 

“ A week. “ Fundy answered. “ I was starting to get worried. “ Fundy admitted, cuddling close to his husband as if he hadn’t felt his touch in forever. “ When you passed out during the ritual, I thought we’d screwed it all up. But Tubbo said it was supposed to happen. Though he thought you’d wake up in a few hours and so I was just… really scared. “ Clay frowned, making an attempt to open both of his eyes. The sunlight was bright, but he wanted to get a proper look at Fundy. Fundy was nuzzled into Clay’s side, not quite looking at him, just enjoying his warmth. 

“ I’m sorry,” Clay spoke softly. “ For scaring you. And… everything. I know I’ve already apologized so many times, but I’m going to do it so many more times. “ 

“It’s oka-” Fundy looked up at Clay, noticing the other boys' new feature. “ Clay, your eye!” Clay blinked. Oh right. His eye changed. How was he going to explain this? “ Did, the ritual do that? I don’t think there’s anything in my research that-” Fundy began to get up to go look for a book, but Clay pulled him back down. 

“ The demon restored two of my lives, at the cost of its own life. It thought it was unfair that I’d lost two lives because of it, so it used its powers to do that for me. “ Clay ended up explaining in a soft tone. Fundy was quiet for a few moments, so Clay continued. “ In reality, it wasn’t all that bad… it didn’t even know why it did the things it did. But it understood that it had to be… removed. It also restored my memories of everything… which all gave this effect. “ 

Fundy was quiet a little longer, before finally speaking up. “ Well, now I just feel bad. “ Clay couldn’t help but laugh. Fundy always had the kindest heart. 

“ Don’t. It knew what was coming. “ Clay turned to pull Fundy close, glad to finally be next to his husband like this, after so long. 

“ Y’know, it looks really cute. “ Fundy confessed, taking in all the features of the other's face, having not seen it very often before. Clay smiled, moving a hand to rest on Fundy’s cheek. 

“ Does it make me more attractive? “ He teased. Fundy laughed, giving a nod. Though he knew it was just a joking nod. 

“ C’mon. We should go see everyone. Or at the very least get some food in your body. “ Fundy said, sitting up. Clay groaned, but reluctantly let his husband pull him out of bed and downstairs into the kitchen. 

As Clay was pulled into the kitchen, he finally got a proper look outside. It was snowing. He didn’t see snow often. It didn’t snow in the main parts of the SMP… so… 

“ Where are we?” Clay spoke up as Fundy began to gather food for him. 

“ Snowchester. It’s a new place Tubbo made. We figured this would be a nice place to bring you. Away from everyone else, y’know? That way we can go and see people when you’re ready. Everything isn’t terribly far away. “ Clap hummed, once again focusing his attention on the snow outside, instead of his husband. It was just… really pretty. 

“ Y’know, for a little while, I haven’t been too fond of the whole government thing... But maybe if the place stays small enough, maybe we can build a house out here. It’d be nice. “ Fundy spoke up. Yeah. Maybe it would. Just some alone time with his husband?

“ I’d like that.” 

He turned to face fundy, who now held a bowl of stew in his hands. “ Here. Might not be the best breakfast, but it’ll keep you healthy, and it’s nice and warm. “ Clay took the bowl from him, giving a hum, and a ‘thank you ‘ before digging into the meal. Damn. he was hungry. Fundy laughed. 

Once finished with his breakfast, Fundy gave him some warmer clothes to change into, making quick work of putting on the heavy coat and following his husband outside. 

Hearing the sounds of the snow below his feet made him smile, the small crunches making him speed up. Snow wasn’t a thing he got to experience often. The few times he did, were always really cool. Fundy stopped to watch as Clay let himself fall into the snow, admiring nature's beauty. 

“ You seem excited about the snow.” Fundy piped up. Clay looked over, giving a nod. “ Well, then I guess this would be a good spot then. C’mon, let's go. “ Clay got up, chasing after his husband like some little kid.    
  
“ Can we make a stop at the prison? I’ve gotta pick up something. “ Clay asked, following fundy. “ The dreamon apparently left something for me. “ Fundy gave clay a worried look but nodded. 

The two made their way to the territory of the greater SMP, Clay shedding his coat for the warmer weather, taking in the sights of everything. It looked really ugly, if he was being honest. But he wouldn’t say that out loud. 

He almost expected a voice to chime in from the back of his head as he thought that, but nothing came. 

Coming to the prison, Clay saw a chest outside, with his name on it. He smiled, opening and finding the book he needed. Thank god Sam was smart enough to keep this for him. 

“What is it?” Fundy asked. Clay put it in his pocket, turning to his husband. 

“ The reason I’m alive. “ Was his simple answer, beginning to walk ahead of fundy to their next destination. He knew Fundy would be confused, but he could explain it later. 

Their next stop, Tommy’s house. The Embassy. 

It was his first step to redemption. Sure, he had a lot of people to apologize to. But he had to start with Tommy. 

Approaching Tommy’s house, it was obvious Tommy was not in the house, but instead, sitting next to Tubbo on the bench, listening to one of the discs. Clay gave Fundy a look. Fundy nodded and stepped back, letting Clay go on his own. Clay walked over.    
  
“ May I sit?” The two boys looked up at him, Tommy jumping slightly. Tommy gave a nod, scooting over for the older male. Clay sat down. 

“ Alright, look… I’ve apologized a lot already… but I’m gonna do it again. I’m sorry. I'm really sorry. Both of you. I get it if you… if you feel unsafe around me… but whatever you want me to do to make it up to you, I’ll do it. “ Clay spoke, looking out on the cliff, he understood why Tommy liked it so much. 

“ I- “ Tommy began. “ If I’m gonna be honest ‘n sincere. Its hard to fuckin’ forgive you, Clay. You did so much to me. I know it wasn’t actually you. But- hearing your voice kinda scares me shitless sometimes. I don’t want to be scared, knowing the damn thing is gone now. But it’s going to take time. “ Tubbo nodded along to Tommy’s words, obviously in the same boat as the younger male. 

“ I know. But maybe having my mask off will help? At least a little bit?” Tommy looked up at Clay, studying his face. Clay let him. 

“ Yeah, Maybe. “ 

Clay took a deep breath. “ I know it’s gonna be hard. But whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. “ The three were quiet for a few moments, surprising from Tommy. “ Do you still want to revive Wilbur?” Clay pulled the book out.    
  
“ I’m not sure. “ was all Tommy said, so Tubbo spoke up. 

“ We want to, but he doesn’t want to be revived. So we have a choice to make. Revive him and have him have to deal with the pain of living again, or just live with Ghostbur. “ Tubbo explained. Tommy nodded along. 

Clay handed Tommy the book. “ Well, it’s your decision. It’s in your hands now. “ Clay stood up. “ Have a good day you two, and don’t get into too much trouble…” Clay began to walk back towards Fundy. 

“ Clay, Wait!” Tommy’s voice rang. Clay turned around to see the boy standing up, clutching the book close to his chest. 

“ Thank you… You fucked me up. But you also brought me a lot of friends, and something to hold onto, and- and now you’re giving me this. So thank you. I forgive you, as much as I can at this point in my life. “ Clay smiled. He finally felt Safe… Accepted… At Home. 

“ You’re Welcome, Tommy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1570
> 
> TOTAL FIC WORDS: 9986
> 
> I'm going to be making. a series of Ine-Shots telling some of the Aftermath of this fic! If theres anything specific you wanna see (like a specific interaction pair or you just have a prompt ) let me know! I'd love to take that on!

**Author's Note:**

> Words: 1654
> 
> Hello yes writer brain go brrrrrr


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